2. Run at the pitcher while holding onto the bat: Again, a cowardly option, taking a weapon that could seriously injure someone.
3. Stand and yell/posture until people are separating you, then fight a cooler in the dugout: Nothing says faux-tough like not doing anything until you can’t actually do anything.
4. Charge the mound: Most players would take this route and it’s a time-honored tradition. It’s not bad. It is cliche and I’m not sure what it would have accomplished. Still, if you’re going to act like you want to fight, at least fight and do so fair and square like Jose Bautista and Rougned Odor did.
5. Just put his head down and run to first: That’s the honorable and gentlemanly thing, methinks. It also looks kind of tough, like “you can’t hurt me and, hey, you just cost your team a baserunner in a one-run game in the bottom of the eighth.” It sort of rubs it in.
But not like …
6. Just laugh at the pitcher/other team.
Look, nothing embarrasses the other team quite like laughing at them while beating them on the scoreboard.
Think about it. In any given situation in life where someone is so angry they are yelling at someone else, what do they actually want? They want their anger level to be met so things can escalate. It’s probably a bit sad, but it’s true (note: Missed Metallica reference opportunity by Snyder. FAIL). So how do you make that other person even more mad while also making yourself look good and rub it in even further?
You laugh in their face.
It’s beautiful. It says: You can’t bother me. You are beneath me. I’m above this nonsense. I don’t respect you enough to care.
It’s the ultimate proverbial rubbing of salt into the wound. Even if none of that is true, it gives off that appearance. And, boy, when someone wants to fight do they seethe when laughed at.
Given that this is a baseball game and doesn’t perfectly equate to real life, I could have gone for Prince going a bit further. For example, while he’s laughing, saying something like “that’s all you’ve got?” Or “you’re a joke, dude.” Or how about this?
“Next time you should throw a fastball.” (!!!!!)
That would have been awesome. The zinger of the year!
I will continue to reiterate until I’m no longer breathing that getting all whiny about the other team and picking a fight couldn’t be further from macho or manly or tough or whatever other term these guys want to throw around. That’s not tough. That’s a cry-baby mentality. Should we teach our kids to huff and puff about the other team or pay attention to their own business.
What’s actually tough? Taking a shot from the other team and laughing in their face, showing them how irrelevant it is and then beating them on the scoreboard.
Give it up for Prince, the man who came out of yesterday’s melee smelling like roses.
Want to know how good Jose Altuve has been this season? If you take what he has done through the first 39 games and extrapolate over a 150-game pace, here’s what his numbers look like:
201 hits, 66 doubles, 35 home runs, 89 RBI, 143 runs, 58 steals, 4 caught stealing, 85 walks, 73 strikeouts
That would be one double shy of the single-season record. It would also be the most runs scored in a season since 2007. It would also make him just the sixth player ever to steal 50-plus bases while being caught stealing five or fewer times. And he’s hitting .340, leading the AL in on-base percentage and sporting a 1.058 OPS. There are obviously all kinds of issues with citing “on-pace for” statistics after a quarter of a season, but the point is, he has been really good.